If you want to drastically improve your relationship, without spending money on counselling, I encourage you to do at least one of the below every single day.

Say thank you a LOT!

I know that you are each doing your best, and neither really ‘deserves’ a thank you for doing what needs to be done to manage your lives. But saying thank you is polite, it’s free and it feels good! If you paid someone for a job, you would just expect them to do it right? But you would also say thank you.

Touch your partner as much as you can.

Whenever you cross paths as you go about your day, stroke their back, give them a friendly little pat. When you are next to them, place a hand on them. When you leave or come back- hug them! I know some people are less ‘touchy-feely’, so work with what you and your partner is comfortable with, but try to increase the frequency of touch throughout your days.

Show them you are thinking of them when you are apart.

This is called ‘object permanence’ and in adult relationships, it is the safe and secure feeling of knowing and trusting that you are in your partner’s mind and heart, even when you are not together. You can do this through texts, sending a photo of something you saw that you thought they would like, grabbing their favourite thing when you’re at the shop, sending them a song you heard etc.

Plan things!

A way to show your partner that you really appreciate them is to plan something ahead of time. This could be anything; date nights, activities, planning some childcare, purchasing a book online that you know they would love, holidays, getting ready to go to bed early to spend time together. It is about showing that you have put in effort ahead of time.

Do little things for each other.

Really happy couples in long term relationships keep up those cute little things that most couples do naturally early on. Leaving little notes, wearing something nice, making something for each other, bringing each other things like a cuppa, doing tasks like putting petrol in the car or washing the other’s car.