Is there a certain someone at work who gets your heart racing in no time? While you may not love him, does the feeling of him being in the same room get you excited? Wondering what to call this raw and almost palpable feeling? Well, we have news for you; that’s sexual tension between you two, and no, it isn’t going to go away!

Sexual tension is basically when two individuals are attracted to each other, but there is no sexual act happening. Their desires are very high but it is a pure feeling of sex. It only leads to sex, but actual sex does not happen.

What is sexual tension? Is it positive or negative?

The feeling of just wanting to get intimate with someone with no emotions or love to justify your desires, is sexual tension. Anu Goel, counseling psychologist and sex expert, explains that this feeling is very common in an office environment. “It’s very common in work settings where you just want to have sex with each other. But there is nothing else, no love involved. So, it’s just like a fling that you are having where you are involved in sex, in the head. However, actual sex might not happen,” she tells Health Shots.

Now, sexual tension can be positive or negative. “If it’s positive, a person feels like being close to the other person and having sex. There is overall a feeling of goodness and you are happy about it,” says Goel. However, she adds, “Sometimes people feel negative towards it. They may experience emotions such as anxiety, and anger or be emotionally disturbed. That is because you are thinking of a sexual interaction with someone and the guilt factor also comes in. At times, it’s one-sided and it’s possible that the feeling is not reciprocated by the other person.”

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However, you cannot decide whether it’s good or bad. It’s all about how you feel. “The feelings are purely physical. There is a difference between love and sexual tension. Because love is emotionally attached to the person, you want a future with the person. Whereas in this, there is no emotional attachment,” says Goel.

What are the signs of sexual tension?

Well, at times, the tension is so palpable, that even those around you can notice it! Goel tells us about some tell-tale signs of sexual tension, which gives it all away!

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1. Body language

One of the biggest signs of sexual tension is body language. In this, both the partners are giving cues to each other. Perhaps a gentle touch, or leaning on someone, depending on different signs where the touch feeling is there just to get a feel of exactly how the person is getting attracted.

2. A lot of attention

Sexual tension involves a lot of attention to each other. There is constant eye contact and while you try to hide it from the rest of the world, it’s very noticeable. You also know it that the other person is checking you out, and you are also checking the other person out.

3. A feeling of happiness

At times people feel a certain high in the presence of the other person. So the sexual attraction is very apparent and physical touch is wanted.

4. Trying to get close

Another thing that tends to happen is pulling each other’s leg playfully, sexually talking about something after getting tipsy or drunk, or whenever you feel you can do it. It’s very common to see sexual tension in parties and work areas, it’s just like a one night stand.

How to make sexual tension go away?

Not feeling good about the way you are feeling towards a certain someone? Well, there are times when we wish this sexually charged energy between us and someone goes away. Goel says that many times, unhappy marriages leads to sexual tension at work. “A lot of people have sexual tension when they don’t get enough love and attention from their spouses. They feel lonely. Due to this, they get sexually attracted to someone else, say at work, and have the desire to have sex with someone else. At times, this makes them very guilty,” she says.

Well, here is what you can do! “At times, people get into guilt trips or feel horrible about themselves. They feel how they could feel this way about someone. So, if you are feeling like this about yourself, control your thoughts or just let it be, don’t overthink it,” says Goel. What works for people who are not able to do anything or don’t want to do, is talking to themselves, making a connection with themselves, writing about what they are feeling and accepting it, getting it out of their system and then just moving on, so that you don’t feel that guilty anymore.