If you think a spicy sex life is just about flicking the lights off and on, you’re missing the starters! Dirty talk is one sizzling spice your intimate life needs. When you whisper the right words in the heat of the moment, fireworks can happen. Let the naughty words flow in without hesitation, and see how they turn on your partner – in bed or even over a phone call!

What is dirty talk?

Dirty is basically using ‘sexy language’ to spice things up in the bedroom. You say naughty things to your partner to turn up the heat, shares sex educator Khushboo Bist. There are two types of sexual talk.

• Individualistic: This one is self-focused. In this category, people express dominance or share their sexual fantasies.
• Mutualistic: This one is about sharing and it is more focused on the partner. This involves giving compliments while having sex or sharing feedback during the act. According to a 2022 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, women use more mutualistic talk than men.

What to keep in mind before engaging in dirty talk?

Before you start blurting out your wildest fantasies, make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Talk about what words or phrases are okay and what is off-limits. And always, respect each other’s boundaries. Wondering if your partner is into dirty talk? Just pay attention to how they react when you drop a suggestive comment, suggests Bist. If they seem intrigued or start playing along, you are probably good to go. But communication is key, so don’t be afraid to just ask.

What are the ways to improve dirty talk?

Dirty talk can get you and your partner in the mood. It helps you connect on a deeper level, and makes things way more exciting, says the expert.

When you are on call

• Start by giving your partner some sweet compliments, as we all love a little ego boost every once in a while.
• Paint a vivid picture with your words, describing exactly what you want to do or how you are feeling.
• Throw in some role-play. Pretend you are someone else, or set the scene for a steamy scenario.
• Don’t forget to let out some sexy whispers. They can really set the mood and drive your partner wild.

When you are on a video call

• Set the mood by creating the right atmosphere. You can adjust the lighting and find a comfortable spot.
• Use your body language to your advantage. Show off your best angles and give your partner some sultry looks.
• Try incorporating some sexy props or visuals into your video chat.
• Experiment with different camera angles to keep things interesting. You want to keep your partner’s attention, after all.
• Don’t be afraid to get creative with technology. Filters and effects can add a fun twist to your dirty talk sessions, says the expert.

When you are in public

• Keep it subtle with coded language or secret signals. After all, you or your partner wouldn’t want to draw any unwanted attention.
• Use your body language to convey your desires without saying a word.
• Take advantage of text messages or sexting to keep things spicy while you are out and about.

When it is just you and your partner

• Begin with subtle compliments or suggestive comments to check your partner’s response and comfort level.
• Take the opportunity to discuss and act out each other’s fantasies in a safe and consensual way, allowing for deeper intimacy and connection.
• While whispering erotic things, explore each other’s bodies through sensual touch, massages, and caresses to deepen intimacy.

Most importantly, always respect each other’s boundaries and comfort levels. Dirty talk should be fun for both of you. Also, do not forget to ask for feedback. It is the best way to make sure you are both having a good time.

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