Are you suffering from intimacy after a miscarriage? Gynecologists share tips for navigating sadness, connection and healing together.
When Aakriti and Akshay (named changed) lost their baby in eight weeks, the wall of invisible sadness settled between them. Arkriti was both emotionally and physically broken, but her husband, who fought against her feelings, didn’t know what to say or do to make her feel better. Rather than approaching their shared grief, the intimacy in their relationship was a hit. “Sometimes he was hesitant to hold hands. I began to feel self-confused about how I looked and felt. We wanted to reconnect, but we didn’t know how,” Aakriti says. For many couples, it is common to suffer from emotional and physical intimacy after a miscarriage.
Communication and professional guidance can go a long way in helping such couples heal together, Senior gynecologist Dr. Rita Bakshi says Health Shot.
“The loss of miscarriage and pregnancy is a very painful experience for couples. Women can experience physical pain, sadness, stress, etc. There are many couples who may feel separated from each other. Bakshi, co-founder of Risaa IVF.
It is important to understand how to slowly return to intimacy after a miscarriage or loss, and how to support your partner’s emotional health during this time.
How does miscarriage affect you emotionally?
Miscarriage can be extremely painful emotionally. There are many people who feel very sad, confused, or blame themselves for it might be their fault. These emotions are normal and are part of the recovery procedure.
According to Dr. Bakshi, there are some common emotional changes after a miscarriage
- Are you very sad or crying easily
- I think it’s your fault (maybe not).
- Get angry or upset
- Feeling lonely or no one understands
- I’m afraid to get pregnant again
- I don’t sleep well or eat well
- You don’t always enjoy what you like
- Feeling far from your partner or loved one
When is the right time for intimacy after a miscarriage?
There is no fixed time for couples to resume sex after a miscarriage. It depends entirely on their physical and emotional health. “It is very important that your partner feels comfortable and not forced. At this point, men play a very important role in their wife’s life.
Here are some things to keep in mind:
- Wait at least 2-3 weeks or until the pain stops bleeding
- Make sure both partners feel emotionally prepared
- Don’t rush or feel pressured
- Talk openly about your feelings with your partner
- Listen to your body and respect your feelings
- Ask your doctor if it’s safe to try again
How can we support each other during this time?
Miscarriage and loss can be extremely difficult for both husband and wife. They may feel different emotions, and it is completely normal. It is important for couples to support each other by doing something simple at this point.
Here’s an easy way to support each other:
- Listen carefully: Let your partner share their feelings without interrupting or judging them.
- Share your feelings: Share how you feel, so that your partner understands you too.
- be patient: It’s important to give each other time as healing takes time.
- Showing love: A small hug, a kind word, or just being there will go a long way.
- Do not take responsibility: This is not anyone’s fault. It’s important to remind each other about this.
- Ask for help if necessary: Talking to a counselor can go a long way during these difficult times.
Plus, it’s important to know that being close doesn’t necessarily mean having sex all the time. There are many other ways to connect and feel connected to your partner after a loss of pregnancy.
“You can hug each other, sit and hug each other, hold hands, give them a soft massage, go for walks or on simple dates, and talk and share your feelings,” says Dr. Bakshi.
What happens if one partner is ready and the other partner isn’t?
It is very common for a partner to feel ready to approach again after a miscarriage. Meanwhile, other partners may take a little while to be close again. This can lead to confusion, sadness and even frustration. However, it is important to remember that both emotions are normal.
“Instead of being hurt or upset, try to talk openly and calmly. It’s important to have each other explain how you feel without pressure. Respect your partner’s space and focus on emotional intimacy first.
It is important to take a slow step, show care, be patient with each other and help them to become stronger together during this time. Emotionally and physically healing doesn’t happen to anyone at the same time. That’s fine. And remember, it’s okay to ask for help if necessary.