If you check social media, you will find celebrity couples sharing their loved-up photos and giving “relationship goals”. But they are not just for the stars. If you have just started dating, you may think setting relationship goals in the early stage does not make sense. But you should, as setting goals as a couple is a great way to grow closer. Knowing how to set relationship goals with your partner will help you to establish a strong foundation for a healthy bond.

What are relationship goals?

Right from getting a job to having own house, everyone has a goal in life. So, why not have goals for your relationship too? Relationship goals are much more than wearing matching outfits and going on dates to luxurious spots. The goals provide a purpose and a sense of direction in a relationship. Relationship goals are the things that give couples a sense of security and bring them closer, says relationship coach and psychotherapist Rohini Rajeev.

How to set relationship goals with your partner?

Setting up relationship goals with your partner sets you both up for a deeper and more meaningful relationship that is future-focussed and growth-oriented. The idea is to bring you both closer to each other in a loving, committed and engaging manner. Here are some tips:

1. Figure out your own style of communication

Not everyone needs to communicate daily and excessively. Each couple discovers their style of communication in a relationship. Some prefer to talk and some prefer to text. Some take out time to discuss the events of the day on a daily basis, others don’t feel the need to share all the details. Find out what works best for you and your partner. Just ensure that you address the needs of your partner, and you don’t feel ignored. Talking to each other directly about how you two feel is an excellent relationship goal to work on.

2. Conflict management goal

A big relationship goal for any couple should be to figure out the most mature way to handle problems. Disagreements and disappointments in relationships are common, and sometimes even necessary, says the expert. You should know how to handle these problems without lashing out at each other. Respectful fighting is the difference between being in a healthy relationship and being in a toxic one. Don’t insult your partner during arguments. Speak your mind, but be respectful.

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3. Love without conditions

Your goal should be to love and support your partner without any conditions. You should be accepted for who you are and you should not feel the need to be a certain way to please your partner.

4. Future plans

Ask and understand how you two look at your future, what your individual and couple goals are without assuming things. For example, if and when you plan to marry and/or have children, career aspirations, travel plans, and dreams.

5. Family meetings

It can be the weekend or special occasions like parents’ birthdays. Plan when to meet each other’s parents to strengthen your bond with your partner and their family. You can cook together or plan activities with each other’s family members and get to know more about each other.

6. Relationship expectations

When you start a relationship without assumptions, you aim to know each other and learn each other’s ways and behaviour. The more you know of each other, the more realistic your expectations of each other will become. Unmet and unfulfilled expectations are the seeds to bigger issues in the relationship, notes Rohini. A couple must share their expectations and basic desires with each other, as a means to avoid disappointment. It is often unfair to expect your partner to know and dream about your needs without you ever sharing it with them. Knowing when you both need space and when you need to be held close is important. So starting today get the expectation goals set and met!

7. Stability despite change

Navigating life’s instability in terms of job or routine, and changing landscapes can be exciting for both of you. Talk to each other about your worries and insecurities upon any anticipated change. A new experience can always be a positive one if we look at it correctly. Focus on growth and happiness. So, set this acceptance of change as a relationship goal for you and your partner.

8. Try something new

Whether you are in the early stage of a relationship or have been with your partner for long, surprise and spontaneity can add life to your love life. Surprise your partner with a sudden trip together, spice things up in your bedroom with something you have never done before like a game or enacting a fantasy or book a mid-week dinner at the new restaurant. Your goal should be to focus on spontaneity to bring in some excitement in your and partner’s lives, says the expert.

9. Give fitness challenges a shot

Involve your partner in your fitness routine. You two can set time for your walks or yoga classes instead of doing it all by yourself. You can also get a bit competitive by playing a badminton or tennis. There are many fitness challenges such as 75 Hard Challenge trending on social media. You can try them and achieve fitness goals as a couple.

Relationship goals are what you want for yourself and your partner. So, starting today, talk to your lover and set the goals.